Welcome to the Platformer where we talk about games in an extremely amateur but fun way! This post is in regards to my Metroid (me) & Vania (girlfriend) series where I introduce my girlfriend to video games! Vania had her first disappointment in gaming, a tragic tale.

I’ve previously covered God of War III on Metroid and Vania, which is the best-received game that I’ve introduced to my girlfriend. I knew the key to her heart was boobs and violence. However, this tragic tale of disappointment is brought to you by God of War II who let Vania down, frustrated her but still managed to keep her entertained. Somewhat.

This is Vania’s first-ever time playing a game from a franchise she has experience with. (If you exclude those with Mario in the title) Therefore having to jump back a generation gave her major gaming whiplash which left her hobbled for the rest of the week as the design elements that were corrected for God of War III were prevalent. Take for example the infamous quick time events.

In God of War III they appear on the corresponding side of the screen. In this game, they appear right in the middle with even less time to react so for a newbie, you better remember every button position as one mistake will send you back to the beginning. I’m surprised the whiplash didn’t knock her head clean off.

“I found the button pressing sequences very frustrating, so much so, that I refused to finish the game after playing the same bit 47 times. I may have pouted, crossed my arms and sulked!”

Vania giving up on the game 2 minutes before the end

She also got stuck a lot more often than in the previous game which is strange because it should have resulted in the opposite effect. This highlights, in bright red marker, the issues with older games sometimes. I’m not saying it should hold your hand but at least have the path make logical sense. In addition to the controls also being different, which frustrated her as a creature of habit (a sexy creature), this game bored her. I was not there to keep her company, she insisted on playing it alone, which in turn led to her to yearn for the glitz and glamour of the PS3 in a remarkably similar way she looks at Tom Hiddleston.

She did, however, complete this game, ignoring the last 2 minutes because she was fed up with one quick time event. If she despised her experience so much, why finish it? The story and mythology are rich in this game. God of War III is a revenge plot which is fun but been told a thousand times. God of War II is, however, a…revenge plot? to kill Zeus. Excuse me…

“Why was this better?”

“I enjoyed that there was more mythology to explore”

“Was there? but you’re just in that one temple”

“I got to encounter the fates, Prometheus and best of all I got to ride pegasus, which has been a dream of mine since I first saw Hercules”

“But there are fewer Gods!”

“I would kill for that flying pony.”

“…maybe we should take a break from Kratos”

So would Vania recommend this game? She said she would but only if you haven’t played the third instalment as to not get let down. Also, she loved that the different games in the franchise feature different elements of Greek mythology.

I don’t want Vania to have a negative feeling towards this legendary franchise and she says she is still enjoying all the Greek Mythology. So for the final time she will take control of Kratos in…

God of War: Chains of Olympus

Thanks for reading! Feel free to subscribe, like this post because it helps believe it or not. Please tell me in the comments below what has been your most dissapointing game.