Welcome to the Platformer where we talk about games in an extremely amateur but fun way! This post is in regards to my Sleek Design series where I try to fit into my favourite pair of jeans again. Also not dying might be fun

Ever since my entire hand could fit into a jam jar, I think I’m starting to understand why I was a big kid, I wanted to wield a lightsaber. I still do but probably never will, (It would take less than a day for me to lose a limb) but what if I told you that there is a form of training to make you one with the force? In addition to making you sweat buckets. Beat Saber is the answer that all us nerds cry out for.

The game consists of evil invading blocks, it is your duty to cut these down. Imagine fruit ninja but you’re Luke Skywalker in the 80s.

I was told that this is a game that makes exercise feel effortless. Fuck off. It does get you to work out but I was getting infuriated by my lack of Jedi skills. This was merely temporary, as I became the embodiment of block death. In less than a day I was playing on expert mode, strangely I was more proficient with a single sabre, this saddened my younger self.

This is essential as the only difficulty that will help build up a sweat is expert mode as the other modes can be done by a mere flick of the wrist. How much sweat did I accumulate? Compare me to an iceberg because there was water dripping off me! The search for high scores kept me going, even when my heart felt like a boombox, I kept going.

I weighed myself at the end of the week and it was 81kg. I have just torn my trousers, not even at the seems. So it’s good I’ve come to this realisation (I’m a cheap bastard) I have started eating less and healthier and I am always hungry! I’m a Jedi now at least.

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